18.8.05

What is your very first memory?

It's interesting that it seems that the older you are...and the younger you are...the more likely you are to recall early memories of the protection and nurturing of parents.

Perhaps not coincidentally, it seems that during some few adolescent years, our memories seem to become a little darker, even threatening and we seem to recall traumatic experiences-- often focused on siblings, rather than parents.

And the older you are...and the younger you are...the more likely you are to focus first memories on feelings rather than actions.


Maybe as we grow older, we feel that we've already done enough...and at least subconsciously reminisce fondly on a time when experience was limited and we had just about all we could handle just adjusting to the new sensations and feelings around us.

And maybe as younger children, since we haven't actually done that much yet, we are still close enough to that time that in the absence of a lifetime of experiences, we are still more familiar with interpreting our world through the filter of our feelings.

By extension, it might make sense then that teenagers in particular view the world-- starting from their earliest recollections-- from a more "action-oriented" point of view. At this age they are busying DOING-- going about the business of growing up, learning to do the things adults do.


Lastly, it seems that the older you are...and the younger you are...the more likely you are to acknowledge that at least some of these "early memories" may be self-manufactured. Maybe that just reflects that as we age, we are the more fearful we are that we are losing our memory and that in our youth we are less confident in our ability to remember things correctly. Whereas adolescents feel "infallible" (day we say cocksure?) in their view of the world-- and that everyone is out to get us, to just prevent us from joining the "adult club."

And perhaps there is some truth to that. For it does seem that, the older we are...and the younger we are...the more we cherish memories-- real or imagined-- of a simpler, more secure time when we could simply lay our heads on someone's shoulder ... and go to sleep.


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